Blush. You needs it.

Ok. Why is it that women go to put blush on, and suddenly become blind?

Bitches, you look crazy.

Let me elaborate:

Blush, rouge, cheek color -- whatever you want to call it is not to be used as a paint. Blush should add color, yes, but you fools are going overboard.

To start, please look in the mirror when you apply. Blush should not be concentrated solely on the apples of the cheeks, but should be applied on the cheek bones as well. Bring it up toward the temples for a natural look.

Blush should look natural. Not sure what that looks like? Put on everything -- I mean every fucking thing: outfit, foundation, shadows, liner, mascara and lipstick -- then put your blush on. That way you can see what is too much. You will allow the other items to anchor the look. The blush should not anchor your face (if you're confused about that, either focus on your lips or eyes. Never cheeks, never both).

Brown blush will go with everything (warm or cool), Brown blush should be applied on the cheekbones, and on the temple for a sunkissed look.

Pink (and all pink derivatives) blush goes with a cooler color palette, and should be placed on the apples of the cheeks, and up the cheek bones for a natural flushed look.

Peach (and all peach derivatives) go with a warmer look. Peach is pretty versatile. It can be placed on the apples, along the cheek bones, and on the temple. Be careful with peaches -- because they are sheer, it is easy to go overboard.

Quick Tip: Apply your powder blush with the same brush you use to apply your face powder. That way, in the very rare time after reading this you do fuck your face up, you can blend it out with your powder. 


Powder blushes look good on any skin type, but they look better on skin that is not super dry. The powder will cling to it.

Cream blush look better on drier skin, as it gives the appearance of moisture. On oily skin, cream blush can give the appearance of extra shine.


Powder blush should be applied over your face powder, as it will blend easier. Alternatively, cream blush will blend easier when applied directly to your foundation and then the face powder blended in.


Cream blush is applied easier with a foundation blush; just keep in mind to not get too much product on the blush. Cream blush will get brighter the more you fuck with it.

As always, when in question, ask your friends. If they are able to see you from Sears, you're doing too fucking much. No one should be able to see you from across a fucking mall. Do not be that old lady who does what she was told looked good in 1965. It does not look good anymore.