Willy Wonka

So this past summer, I have been bombarded with things to do. Mostly, do the makeup of 40 small children, PLUS age one person from 50ish to 70ish, PLUS do regular stage makeup on 3 guys, PLUS do the makeup for the big cheese himself, Mr Willy Wonka. Naturally, I gathered some assistants, and had them work with the children so that I didn't lose my mind.

Originally, the children (aka Oompa Loompas) were supposed to have orange curly-cues on their cheeks, outlined in magenta, with white brows and orange and purple Vs by their eyes. Because seriously, there isn't enough time in the world to paint 40 small children's entire face orange. But somehow, one of these children got the idea that they were allowed to have an opinion, and spread that infectious thought to the other children, and the cheek designed was kaput. However, they needed something on their cheeks, and it was switched to an orange Wonka W. 

Jewelry is their own.

Products Used

1. MAC Paint Stick in Genuine Orange (cheeks) and in Pure White (brows). Applied directly to the skin, made for very quick application back stage.
2. A cheapo wine lip liner (seriously, the cheapest I could find) to line the orange. 
3. Set with MAC Set Powder in Invisible.
4. MAC Lipstick in Orchid or Wild Orchid. Something like that. Normally, I would double check the tube for the name, but some asshole child stole it. So there you go.

My favorite person to paint was Willy Wonka. He offered one request: Green Blush. 

Wonka and Me. 

To make this happen, I did his makeup from start to finish.

Products Used (and the order in which they were used)

1. Merle Norman Normal/Oily Toner
2. Merle Norman Day Creme with HC-12 (no sunscreen, so it didn't reflect under the lights)
3. Merle Norman Foundation Primer
4. Merle Norman Total Finish in Creamy Beige
5. Merle Norman Ultra Powder Foundation in Ultra Golden

To do the blush: 

1. Placed EXACTLY where normal blush would go: MAC Pro Longwear Shadow in Style Driven (this is a sky-blue color)
2. Placed EXACTLY over the blue shadow Merle Norman Crystal Eyes in Seeing Green (this is actually discontinued. It is possible that a local store may still have one, or can find you one, but it's a sheer loose shadow. it turned the blue to a green, and under the light was almost silver. A comp would be something like MAC Pigment in Golden Olive, but Pigments tend to be heavily pigmented (duh, that's how they get the name), so I would start very light, and add layers as needed for the desired effect).

For the Eye:

No actual shadow was used. I did use MAC Fluidline in Blacktrack to freehand a design on the side of Wonka's face, and to line the eyes.

I placed dots (to mark my spot), and used eyelash glue (DUO, seriously, the absolute best out there) to glue silver sequins to the side of his face. 

THE EYE DESIGN IS ONLY ON ONE SIDE OF THE FACE!

I filled in his brows (only because they are lighter than his hair color) with a Taupe pencil

Lips were Merle Norman Creamy Lip Color in Dolled Up (a fuchsia pink)

To order MAC cosmetics: maccosmetics.com

For Merle Norman: Visit merlenorman.com or to find a local store near you, call 1-800-MY-MERLE. Merle Norman does not sell products online, but any studio will be glad to ship products to you! 

Blush. You needs it.

Ok. Why is it that women go to put blush on, and suddenly become blind?

Bitches, you look crazy.

Let me elaborate:

Blush, rouge, cheek color -- whatever you want to call it is not to be used as a paint. Blush should add color, yes, but you fools are going overboard.

To start, please look in the mirror when you apply. Blush should not be concentrated solely on the apples of the cheeks, but should be applied on the cheek bones as well. Bring it up toward the temples for a natural look.

Blush should look natural. Not sure what that looks like? Put on everything -- I mean every fucking thing: outfit, foundation, shadows, liner, mascara and lipstick -- then put your blush on. That way you can see what is too much. You will allow the other items to anchor the look. The blush should not anchor your face (if you're confused about that, either focus on your lips or eyes. Never cheeks, never both).

Brown blush will go with everything (warm or cool), Brown blush should be applied on the cheekbones, and on the temple for a sunkissed look.

Pink (and all pink derivatives) blush goes with a cooler color palette, and should be placed on the apples of the cheeks, and up the cheek bones for a natural flushed look.

Peach (and all peach derivatives) go with a warmer look. Peach is pretty versatile. It can be placed on the apples, along the cheek bones, and on the temple. Be careful with peaches -- because they are sheer, it is easy to go overboard.

Quick Tip: Apply your powder blush with the same brush you use to apply your face powder. That way, in the very rare time after reading this you do fuck your face up, you can blend it out with your powder. 


Powder blushes look good on any skin type, but they look better on skin that is not super dry. The powder will cling to it.

Cream blush look better on drier skin, as it gives the appearance of moisture. On oily skin, cream blush can give the appearance of extra shine.


Powder blush should be applied over your face powder, as it will blend easier. Alternatively, cream blush will blend easier when applied directly to your foundation and then the face powder blended in.


Cream blush is applied easier with a foundation blush; just keep in mind to not get too much product on the blush. Cream blush will get brighter the more you fuck with it.

As always, when in question, ask your friends. If they are able to see you from Sears, you're doing too fucking much. No one should be able to see you from across a fucking mall. Do not be that old lady who does what she was told looked good in 1965. It does not look good anymore.