The Fantasticks

This is a Broadway Production that lives up to it's name. This show is absolutely hilarious, especially when performed by people who know how to make a story come alive.

For this show, the most complicated thing I did was to give someone a Black Eye. This is an easy trick that takes 3 colors.

Boom. Black Eye.

To do this you'll need the following colors: Yellow, Burgundy/Wine, Red. That's it. It can be grease paint, or powder. Doesn't really matter.

I used a grease paint, as I didn't have a whole lot of time, and I knew that that would be the quickest way to get the coloring I wanted. I used a sponge, as it has multiple sides, and I was able to flip it over to work as fast as possible. (I had like 3 minutes to throw this on.)

First, I did the Red all around the affected area (which in this case is obviously his eye). Above the brow, and on the lid, as well as under the eye, and a little on the bridge of the nose.

Then using a clean side of the sponge, I put the yellow on just under the bruise. So basically along the cheek bone.

I grabbed a small synthetic hair brush to put the burgundy/wine color on underneath the lower lid (where "bags" would be), and to create some "scratches" over the brow.

It's really that simple. For the Red you can use a blush, or lipstick. Or you can use the Theatre Effects "Injury Stack" at partycity.com, which has all the colors. Mostly available around Sept-Oct, but it's pretty cheap (like $2-3) so stock up.

Willy Wonka

So this past summer, I have been bombarded with things to do. Mostly, do the makeup of 40 small children, PLUS age one person from 50ish to 70ish, PLUS do regular stage makeup on 3 guys, PLUS do the makeup for the big cheese himself, Mr Willy Wonka. Naturally, I gathered some assistants, and had them work with the children so that I didn't lose my mind.

Originally, the children (aka Oompa Loompas) were supposed to have orange curly-cues on their cheeks, outlined in magenta, with white brows and orange and purple Vs by their eyes. Because seriously, there isn't enough time in the world to paint 40 small children's entire face orange. But somehow, one of these children got the idea that they were allowed to have an opinion, and spread that infectious thought to the other children, and the cheek designed was kaput. However, they needed something on their cheeks, and it was switched to an orange Wonka W. 

Jewelry is their own.

Products Used

1. MAC Paint Stick in Genuine Orange (cheeks) and in Pure White (brows). Applied directly to the skin, made for very quick application back stage.
2. A cheapo wine lip liner (seriously, the cheapest I could find) to line the orange. 
3. Set with MAC Set Powder in Invisible.
4. MAC Lipstick in Orchid or Wild Orchid. Something like that. Normally, I would double check the tube for the name, but some asshole child stole it. So there you go.

My favorite person to paint was Willy Wonka. He offered one request: Green Blush. 

Wonka and Me. 

To make this happen, I did his makeup from start to finish.

Products Used (and the order in which they were used)

1. Merle Norman Normal/Oily Toner
2. Merle Norman Day Creme with HC-12 (no sunscreen, so it didn't reflect under the lights)
3. Merle Norman Foundation Primer
4. Merle Norman Total Finish in Creamy Beige
5. Merle Norman Ultra Powder Foundation in Ultra Golden

To do the blush: 

1. Placed EXACTLY where normal blush would go: MAC Pro Longwear Shadow in Style Driven (this is a sky-blue color)
2. Placed EXACTLY over the blue shadow Merle Norman Crystal Eyes in Seeing Green (this is actually discontinued. It is possible that a local store may still have one, or can find you one, but it's a sheer loose shadow. it turned the blue to a green, and under the light was almost silver. A comp would be something like MAC Pigment in Golden Olive, but Pigments tend to be heavily pigmented (duh, that's how they get the name), so I would start very light, and add layers as needed for the desired effect).

For the Eye:

No actual shadow was used. I did use MAC Fluidline in Blacktrack to freehand a design on the side of Wonka's face, and to line the eyes.

I placed dots (to mark my spot), and used eyelash glue (DUO, seriously, the absolute best out there) to glue silver sequins to the side of his face. 

THE EYE DESIGN IS ONLY ON ONE SIDE OF THE FACE!

I filled in his brows (only because they are lighter than his hair color) with a Taupe pencil

Lips were Merle Norman Creamy Lip Color in Dolled Up (a fuchsia pink)

To order MAC cosmetics: maccosmetics.com

For Merle Norman: Visit merlenorman.com or to find a local store near you, call 1-800-MY-MERLE. Merle Norman does not sell products online, but any studio will be glad to ship products to you! 

Casual Makeup. Sorta.

So it's Father's Day Eve, and I took my dad out to eat. By that, I mean I said I was paying, and he took the bill from me and paid anyways. Dads are weird.

But anyways, I decided that I wasn't going to wear a lot of makeup, because it's the middle of June in NC, and it's fucking hot. I went with a neutral look - as in not a lot of color.

I decided to use a couple of my new eye products from MAC.

The eyeshadow came out looking like a green/yellow combo, when it was definitely an opaque white and a black. But it was cute, so whatever. The eyeliner is easily one of my favorites, as it is a liquid in pen form. so easy. I did a double wing, and it came out very precise. LOVE it.

Foundation: Merle Norman Total Finish in Ivory
Powder: Merle Norman Ultra Powder in Ultra Bloom
Blush: Merle Norman Lasting Cheek Color in Bashful

Eye Primer: MAC Prep & Prime Eye in Light
All Over Shadow: MAC Pro Longwear Shadow in Carefree
Crease: Merle Norman Matte Shadow in Dusk
Eyeliner: MAC Penultimate Eye Liner (this only comes in black)

Lips: Merle Norman Creamy Lip Color in Hussy (but I wiped most of it off immediately, to have a stained look)

So this entry is short, but I'm extra busy designing Oompa Loompas. Seriously. I'm doing the makeup for the local theatre's production of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Oompa Loompa makeup to be posted soon.

Makeup Must-haves

I read an article today on yahoo.com that said that the 3 must-haves for you makeup bag (and by this, I am referring to what is in your purse) are concealer, mascara, and blush. Well I disagree. You need more than 3, and the 3 they picked aren't what I would suggest.

Concealer by itself is obvious. It stands out, and has a different texture and finish than your natural skin.Your first make up must have is a pressed powder foundation. Benefits of powder foundations?

1. They are lightweight on the face, but offer a sheer to a maximum coverage (depending on how you apply)
2. It is perfect for touch-up
3. Easy to carry and apply on-the-go

Blush, I agree, is a must have. However, blush can have warm or cool undertones. If you have only one blush in your bag, then you are doing yourself a disservice. But by saying "blush" you are limiting one to think, 'Oh, I only need one blush ever in my whole life.' NO. You need at least 2 - a warm and a cool blush. What I would recommend in its place is a light bronzer. It will give color, but in the sense of 'sun' versus 'blush.' Don't go bronzer heavy. This is not a coloring contest, but a quick swipe on the cheekbones, forehead and bridge of the nose will give you the color you need.

Mascara is a must have. Period. The mascara in your makeup bag should be black, and should be waterproof. This is so you can transform your look from day to night (remember, this the the makeup that is in your purse!), but also to touch up if needed.

You need 2 lip colors. This is an absolute necessary. One should be a gloss, preferably a clear or a very sheer color. This will be for touch ups throughout the day, but also to layer with a color that is more dramatic (your choice of a second color).

You need a black eyeliner (which should be a roll-up pencil so you don't have to search for a sharpener). Duh. To line your eyes. 

You need a neutral eyeshadow quad (4 shadow compact). Think browns. 

These products will create a full face, and can easily be added to your day look to create a fab night time look. They will fit in a small makeup bag, as most compacts come with applicators so you don't have to carry brushes/sponges. Just remember to wash them REGULARLY.

The Best Facial Mask I've Ever Used

So recently, I have been plagued with acne. It started off really mild, but it was pretty persistent in marring my otherwise pretty decent complexion, so I went to the dermatologist to see if there was anything that I could do about it. (Ok, not gonna lie - my mother made the appointment and basically forced me to go, as I am currently not working and didn't want to drive 30 minutes to see a doctor over a few zits.) Said dermatologist looked at my face, and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. I took said medication and BOOM my face looks like I've been shot. Seriously, it's ridiculous. I do not blame the dermatologist - I've seen him for years regarding various skin concerns over the years.

I am currently suffering a self-imposed exile from public (in-ile? I'm not going anywhere, just staying inside... and I'm not counting the volunteer job that I go to 3 times a week where I see maximum 4 people), therefore I have decided to take matters into my own hands. Hence, the reason for this particular entry.

I have tried other acne products in the past. Some things work, some things work for a bit and then quit working, and somethings just outright blow.

However, the best thing I have ever used was a facial mask called Miracol (by Merle Norman).

History

Merle Norman (who was a real woman, btw) started her skincare line by creating a burn cream in her kitchen, inspired by a grease burn that hit her face. She added color to it to blend it into her skin, and found that HELLO, THIS SHIT IS AWESOME. She put powder on it, and boom, first foundation: Powder Base. She started selling this to her friends, and they became addicts, like every woman is when good cosmetic/skin care products come out. They begged for more, and she created a cold cream: All Purpose Cleansing Cream and this face mask: Mira-col. When did all this come out? 1931. That's right - she did all this in the middle of the Great Depression. And it was amazing. Why? Because even when money is tight, women will not go around looking like hags.

All Purpose Cleansing Cream, Mira-col, and Powder Base are the original 3 products to the Merle Norman company, and they are still an integral part of the product line. AND THE FORMULAS HAVE NOT CHANGED FROM THE ORIGINAL 1931 RECIPE. What other company can say that? Each of these products have remained the same for over 85 years. These 3 products are the original 3 Steps to Beauty.

However, this post is about the second of the 3: Mira-col (or Miracol, as it is known today).

Miracol comes in 2 formulas now: Miracol Revitalizing Lotion and Miracol Revitalizing Cream. The Lotion formula is the original line, but the cream works the same. I prefer the cream as you can use your hands to apply, and it's a bit thicker, so it's less messy. However, they both produce the same results.

Miracol Revitalizing Cream is hot pink. Seriously. I use an older foundation brush that is reserved specifically for this product to apply as I hate to use my hands for anything other than moisturizers, but fingers are perfectly ok to use to apply the cream. (The Lotion formula comes with an application brush.)

Apply this mask to the forehead, nose and from the cheek bones down. Do not put on your upper lip. It will tighten, and you feel it. Leave it on for 8-20 minutes. (I usually put it on at the start of a 30 minute show, and then take it off when the show is over.) It is easiest removed with tepid (lukewarm, room temperature, etc) water - you will essentially remoisten the mask and wipe it away GENTLY. (I have also been known to do this in the shower, as I can stick my face under the water, but that is definitely not required).

*I do not have pictures of this, as when this product dries it looks like I am a burn victim (due to the color against my skin).*

Miracol can be applied either in the morning or at night.

Miracol has 5 benefits: it firms and tightens the skin, it helps to diminish the appearance of pores, controls oil, and it is a deep cleansing mask (as in, it sucks out all the nasty). You will seen and feel an immediate difference.

Although it is a deep cleansing mask, it should always be applied to clean skin - as in, skin with no makeup.

Miracol tingles on me. Some people do not notice a tingle. Any tingling sensation will stop once the mask is dry. 

Miracol (to me) smells like Pine-Sol. There is no Pine-Sol in the mask. Promise. Some people like the smell. Some people don't notice any smell at all.

Miracol can be used by ANY SKIN TYPE; ANY SKIN COLOR; ANY SKIN SENSITIVITY (although, check with your doc or do a test patch first!); ANY AGE. I have recommended (as a professional) Miracol to people from ages 13 - 85.

Miracol can be applied further down the neck onto the chest (or shoulders/back if necessary). Same rules apply for the amount of time you leave it on, but I would suggest removing it in the shower.

There really isn't anything on the market that compares with this product. I have used other products that have promised the same results, and they either stopped working (Proactiv) or they dried my face out so bad that it started to peel (looking at you, Clinique).

Miracol, hands down, is the BEST FACIAL MASK I'VE EVER USED.

Also, after doing this mask tonight, my face has cleared up slightly. It's not as red. While I still have several bumps, I can see the difference. The bumps that are remaining have gone down in size. I can hid what remains with makeup until the Miracol zaps the rest of it away.

To find Miracol visit your local Merle Norman. Don't have one in your area? Vist merlenorman.com to find a studio near you. International locations currently in Guatemala, Bahrain, UAE, Hong Kong, and Taiwan. (Internationally, they are still pretty limited, so if you need a recommendation as to which store to use, I know several owners/managers of studios and would be happy to provide their contact information if needed.)

You want red lips. Or do you?

Red lipstick is the hardest thing to describe to someone. What you think of as red is not necessarily red to your bff (cause let's face it, that's who you're with when you're shopping for lipstick).

Do you really want red? Or are you really wanting a wine, or a hot pink, or just a gloss? So let's talk about the options...

First, I haven't really been a red lipstick wearer in the past. I usually gravitated towards a nude, or pink lip, cause I tend to go really dramatic on the eyes. But lately, I have been loving reds!

Reds can be classified as a "true red" (which is really just neutral), "blue red" (which tends to look pink/purple when placed next to a warmer color), and "orange red" (which is kinda obvious... it tends to verge on the edge of coral).

Time for some pictures!

These are the reds that I am going to talk about, starting from left to right.

Red Number 1: Cherry on Top Creamy Lipstick by Merle Norman. This lipstick formula is excellent. It is creamy (duh), so it doesn't settle into the creases of the lip, and it lasts for pretty much all day.

*SIDE NOTE* Lipstick doesn't have a set time for how long it is supposed to stay on. We will naturally "talk/eat" it off all day. It will transfer to straws, your food when you're taking bites, napkins, etc. Smaller lips will need to reapply more often than larger lips. (Basically, Reese Witherspoon will have to reapply her lipstick 3 times as often as Angelina Jolie.)

Cherry on Top is an orange-red, but barely. It is just a little more orange than most.

Cherry on Top, after a full day of work

Red Number 2: MAC Red by MAC. This color looks like a true red in the tube, but is a very blue red. (See the picture up there? It looks fuchsia!) MAC Red is a Satin finish. It is creamy going on, and also has staying power. On me, it looks semi-matte.

MAC Red

Red Number 3: Popsicle Red Lip Glaze by Merle Norman. This red is more of a gloss. It is very sheer, and has a bit of a gold fleck to it. Popsicle Red is very pretty when you are wanting color, but not a lot of pigment.

(I would have a picture here, but since I wore red lips today that were heavily pigmented, you wouldn't get the true sense of the color. There will be another color swatch further down. Otherwise, I'm sure it will pop up in another entry sometime.)

Red Number 4: Hussy Creamy Lip Color by Merle Norman

Red Number 5: Hussy Lip Glaze by Merle Norman

Red Number 6: Hussy Lip Polish by Merle Norman

Merle Norman did something genius. They came up with a lip color, and put it in every formula lip product that they have. The color in the tube looks the same. Going on? Totally different color each time. 

Hussy Collection

The products that I used (from left to right): #2 (Lip Glaze), #3 (Creamy Lip Color), #4 (Lip Polish).

Hussy is a true red, regardless of formula. I have worn Hussy with both cool and warm color clothing. It is a bold color, so I would definitely stick with very neutral eyes, and not a lot of pattern in the clothing, so as not to compete. 

Lip Glaze: Essentially gloss in a tube. If you layer it, you will get more of a color payoff.

Lip Polish: HIGHLY PIGMENTED lip gloss. It finishes to a very wet look. 

Hussy, Creamy Lip Color

Hussy, Lip Glaze

Hussy, Lip Polish

Red Number 7: Heartthrob Age Defying Lip Color by Merle Norman. This lipstick is not as creamy as the others. It does not give a glossy shine. However, it does not feather out, and it stays on pretty well. It is more of a "brown red" in that it is more burgundy/wine than anything else.

Heartthrob

Quick Tip: The best gloss on top of a red? A sheer gold. It doesn't change the color of the red, but rather enhances it. Clear will dilute your color.

Top to bottom: Cherry on Top, MAC Red, Popsicle Red

Top to bottom: Hussy in Creamy Lip Color, Lip Glaze, Lip Polish

Heartthrob

How to Wear Fake Lashes and NOT Look Like A Hooker

Face it. Fake lashes are a new must-have for your makeup bag. But to be honest, when you first start to put them on, it seems like it should be a tag-team sport. So how do you get the lashes to look natural and still give the pop that you want to your eyes? Simple.

Demi Lashes

Demi Lashes are the easiest way to get your lashes to be full, but not look like you're part of a drag show. They are classy, and they are natural looking.


I won't say what the best way to apply is, but I will tell you this: Don't over glue. I use the ledge that the lashes come in -- put the glue on that. Then GENTLY drag the base of the lash through the glue.

[pretend I was smart enough to take a picture of this process for you]

Wave the lash in the air for a couple of seconds (think Polaroid picture), and then apply. I always put the lashes on last. After I have done everything else. Why? That's when I do my mascara. I put a coat of mascara on, add lashes, and re-coat the ones I grew to blend everything together.


Final product?

Looks good right?

Extra super close up.

This look was for an Art Gala that I was attending. I tried to keep everything toned down and subtele (everything but my red lips, that is). So what did I use?


Mostly Merle Norman, as the local studio was a sponsor. I'll start from the bottom up:


Cleanser: Luxiva Clear Complexion Gel Cleanser by Merle Norman
Toner: Luxiva Normal/Oily AHA Toner, by Merle Norman
Moisturizer: Luxiva Shine Control Hydrator, by Merle Norman


Primer: Luxiva Foundation Primer, by Merle Norman


Foundation: Luxiva Ultra Foundation with HC-12 in Cream (Merle Norman)
Powder: Luxiva Ultra Powder in Bloom (Merle Norman)
Blush: Lasting Cheek Color in Bashful (Merle Norman)


Shadow Primer: Luxiva Lasting Cream Eyeshadow in Cream Puff (Merle Norman)
Shadow (wash): Luminous Shadow in Sunbeam (Merle Norman)
Shadow (crease): Matte Eyeshadow by MAC in Copperplate


Liner: Fluidline in Blacktrak, MAC


Mascara: Creamy Flo Matic in Black (Merle Norman)
Lashes: Salon Perfect Lashes #53 Black Strip Lashes


Lips (not pictured): Lip Glaze in Hussy (Merle Norman)

Lashes purchased from Walmart, walmart.com
Merle Norman, merlenorman.com or 800-MY-MERLE
MAC, maccosmetics.com

Black Eyeliner, and why you should own it.

Black eyeliner has been around for centuries, whether in the form of kohl, charcoal, smashed up bugs, whatever. It is obviously a beauty staple. Most people don't know how to wear it though. Either they go too heavy, or their liner ends up looking like they've recently been hit in the face. And that is never attractive.

Black liner goes with every skin type and every skin color. It looks good with just about anything that you're wearing (except for weddings, but that's a whole separate story).

Black liner looks good with a minimalist eye, and with a shitton of makeup. Why? Because it's fucking amazing.

Super close up, right?

Closed this time

Ok, on my right eye, I have done a double wing (look close and you'll see it!). Double wings are subtle, but very chic and sexy.

What I used (and how I feel about it):

Eye liner: Luxiva Lasting Creme Eyeliner by Merle Norman in Black

I love this liner. It is waterproof, and generally smudge proof as well. It drys as you apply, so you don't have to worry about waiting before you blink (or whatever). It comes in a 0.09oz pot, and it applies with a brush. Brush comes separately, which allows you to decide which brush works best for you. I used a flat-tip eyeliner brush for this.

All Over Shadow (Wash): Eyeshadow from Party Eyes by Merle Norman in Berry Bubbly

Meh. It was laying around, and I grabbed it. I purchased this for the purple liquid liner on the other side. I find that this shadow tends to crease, regardless of the shadow base used underneath, so when I use this, it only goes under the brows.

Crease Shadow: Matte Eyeshadow by MAC in Copperplate

I really like this color. It is a soft taupe, and looks good as a crease on a subtle smoky eye or as a lower liner/shadow. With my skin being oily, it does tend to get darker throughout the day, but I don't mind that.

Mascara: Creamy Flo Matic Mascara by Merle Norman in Black

This is a great basic mascara. It layers very well, and doesn't clump when you add additional coats. It's a similar bristle to Maybelline's Great Lash, but I find that this doesn't dry out as fast.

And on my left eye, I did a heavier application. This is probably not work appropriate, though.

What I used:

Brow Highlight Eyeshadow from Party Eyes by Merle Norman in Berry Bubbly

Lid (base)/Crease and Liner: Waterproof Shadow Liner by Smashbox in Envy

I don't know much about the waterproof claim. This actually came in a set. I bought it mostly for the brush, to be honest. It is ok, but it feels entirely too .. creamy for me to be comfortable considering this a "waterproof" product. In the container it looks like it has a bit of a glitter to it, but once on the eye, it looks pretty matte. Over all, it's ok, but I can get the same effect with things that I like a lot better.

Lid Shadow (layer): Veluxe Pearle Shadow by MAC in Silverthorn

I really like this color. I layered it on top of the black that I did all over my lid to create a dark pewter shade. This shadow blends very well (MAC shadows are definitely good for that). It is a blue-silver. Love it.

Mascara: Creamy Flo Matic Mascara by Merle Norman in Black

To find Smashbox: sephora.com

To find MAC: maccosmetics.com

To find Merle Norman: merlenorman.com or 1-800-MYMERLE to find a studio near you

**Merle Norman does not sell their products online. If you would like to purchase something, find a store that you don't mind calling, and place your order. Most stores will take a phone order and ship it right to your door!

The Best Eye Makeup Remover I've Ever Used

There are a lot of makeup removers out there, and some are good; others are absolute shit.

The best eye makeup remover? Merle Norman's Dual Action Eye Makeup Remover. It's a layered formula that removes both waterproof and regular makeup. It's gentle and not soapy. Great for people who wear contacts, as it won't burn your eyes. You just shake it up, put on some cotton, and swipe. It removes everything. This makeup remover is water and silicon based, so you don't get that oily residue once you're done.

Others I've used?
Neutrogena's Oil Free Eye Makeup Remover -- for oil free, this felt very greasy. Once I finished the bottle, I never bought it again.

Clinique's Eye Makeup Remover -- used it once years ago -- It didn't remove everything.

MAC Eye Makeup Remover -- Got this in my eye once and it burned like a bitch. I sometimes get a soapy feeling with this. It does get everything off, but it isn't the most pleasant feeling in your eye.

Merle Norman Instant Eye Makeup Remover -- This is a cheaper version of the MAC Eye Makeup Remover. I will purchase this if the Merle location I'm at does not have Dual Action (rare, but sometimes happens), and I also have this in my travel bag, as it it 3oz versus the Dual Action's 4oz.

Eyeliner

For some reason, everyone gets this wrong.

First of all, eyeliner is meant to look good. Drawing a thick black line around your eye with little to no shadow does not look good. In fact, it looks fucking ridiculous. If the goal is to look like you have been hungover for the past 2 days, then congratulations, cause that's what you look like.

Eyeliner should enhance the eye shape. It doesn't have to be natural, but the end result should not make you look like you just got hit in the eye.

There are loads of different eye liners out there, but it boils down to 3 basic ways that it's applied (the rest of it is just marketing gimmicks): pencil, liquid, or cream.

Pencil eyeliner should be obvious. It's in a pencil shape. You either sharpen it or roll it up. Pencil eyeliner is the easiest eyeliner to use, as the product is the applicator. If you can use a pencil, you can use this eyeliner. The key to not looking like a whore (and to not using too much product), is to put the pencil on the side, as if you were using the pencil to point at something.

When you put the pencil directly in front of your face, not only do you block your vision, but you put yourself in danger. 

What will you do if your neighbor's rabid cat suddenly attacked you? You'd fucking poke your eye out, and that is no fun.

Cream Eyeliner (Gel, cake, whatever. Like I said, it's all a gimmick) comes in a pot and you apply it with a separate brush. This type of liner is easy in the since that once it's there, it's dry. You don't have to worry about the liner transferring from your lash line up into your crease because it wasn't dry.

Cream liner is highly pigmented, and it is great for dramatic lines, but also for a color pop. Cream liner tends to stay in place longer, so if you're planning a long day, this liner will be your best friend.

When you apply cream liner, the brush you use should not be super wide, and should have a fine point. There are TONS of brush choices out there, so what ever you're comfortable with will work.

Quick Tip: If you're trying to get the winged look, use an angled eyeliner brush. Cat eyes (a la Amy Winehouse)? go for the long, pointed brushes.

Keep in mind that using the brush is the same as using the pencil!


Liquid Eyeliner is the hardest to use, simply as it needs to try. If you're only going to use it to fill the lash line, you should be fine, but a dramatic line? Better learn patience first. Liquid eyeliner tends to have an applicator in the top, and should be used the same as any other pencil/brush around the eye.


Quick Tip: Cream and liquid eyeliners follow the same rules as mascara. Once you open it, it needs to be thrown away after 4 months. PINK EYE IS NOT SEXY.

Blush. You needs it.

Ok. Why is it that women go to put blush on, and suddenly become blind?

Bitches, you look crazy.

Let me elaborate:

Blush, rouge, cheek color -- whatever you want to call it is not to be used as a paint. Blush should add color, yes, but you fools are going overboard.

To start, please look in the mirror when you apply. Blush should not be concentrated solely on the apples of the cheeks, but should be applied on the cheek bones as well. Bring it up toward the temples for a natural look.

Blush should look natural. Not sure what that looks like? Put on everything -- I mean every fucking thing: outfit, foundation, shadows, liner, mascara and lipstick -- then put your blush on. That way you can see what is too much. You will allow the other items to anchor the look. The blush should not anchor your face (if you're confused about that, either focus on your lips or eyes. Never cheeks, never both).

Brown blush will go with everything (warm or cool), Brown blush should be applied on the cheekbones, and on the temple for a sunkissed look.

Pink (and all pink derivatives) blush goes with a cooler color palette, and should be placed on the apples of the cheeks, and up the cheek bones for a natural flushed look.

Peach (and all peach derivatives) go with a warmer look. Peach is pretty versatile. It can be placed on the apples, along the cheek bones, and on the temple. Be careful with peaches -- because they are sheer, it is easy to go overboard.

Quick Tip: Apply your powder blush with the same brush you use to apply your face powder. That way, in the very rare time after reading this you do fuck your face up, you can blend it out with your powder. 


Powder blushes look good on any skin type, but they look better on skin that is not super dry. The powder will cling to it.

Cream blush look better on drier skin, as it gives the appearance of moisture. On oily skin, cream blush can give the appearance of extra shine.


Powder blush should be applied over your face powder, as it will blend easier. Alternatively, cream blush will blend easier when applied directly to your foundation and then the face powder blended in.


Cream blush is applied easier with a foundation blush; just keep in mind to not get too much product on the blush. Cream blush will get brighter the more you fuck with it.

As always, when in question, ask your friends. If they are able to see you from Sears, you're doing too fucking much. No one should be able to see you from across a fucking mall. Do not be that old lady who does what she was told looked good in 1965. It does not look good anymore.

Foundation, concealer, powder. The basic face -- try not to fuck it up.

Foundation. Base. Whatever you call it, it gives your skin a fresh look, and gives you a clean canvas for your makeup to sit on.

And every fucking day, y'all fuck it up.

Let us start with the basics:

Concealer: That's right, it's concealing stuff -- scars, redness, acne, bruises, that hickey where you stupidly allowed some ass to mark you -- when used correctly, concealer can hide lots of things.

Foundation: That goes on top of concealer, to blend everything in, and to make your skin look completely blemish free, no matter what your blemish is.

Powder: Goes on top of foundation. Powder is to be worn daily, no matter your foundation's finish. Powder will set your makeup, so your collar doesn't look like you've not bathed in months. It blends things, like blush gone wrong. Powder will finish any makeup look, natural to you-look-like-a-whore.

Concealer Brush: obviously for concealer. we've talked about this before.
Foundation Brush or sponge: yes, for the foundation
Powder Brush (or hell, even a sponge): for, you guessed it, powder.


And imagine that, everything is in the order in which you should use it.

First things first, let's discuss concealer. Concealer is to be used on the hot-spots only. Otherwise you will look fake, and completely over-made up.

Concealer comes in many colors. Confused on which one to buy? Thought so.

Green: This color is for people with a REDNESS-ONLY issue, typically those with rosacea (Think you have it? Ask a dermotologist.) Use this in the reddest areas -- generally on the apples of the cheeks, and on the tip of the nose. Once you calm those areas down, the rest will look normal. You typically want to use about half a pea-sized amount on those areas. Don't worry if you don't get it all; it will be covered by foundation.

Yellow: This is for very fresh, mostly purple bruising. Yellow by itself does not blend well, so mix this with your skin-tone concealer. This is to go only on the center of the purple-ness, blended into the skin-tone concealer. Again -- yellow in the center, skin-tone on the edge. blend them in the middle. This will help cover bruising from cataracts surgery (cause it will give you a serious black eye), hickeys, sports injuries, etc.

Lavender and Rose: This is for yellowed or sallowed skin. You can also blend those nasty green-yellow bruises with this, as it will tone down that ugliness.

Skin Tone: Use this under your eyes, on scars and blemishes, and to blend as needed.


Foundation is next -- It can be in a liquid or a cream, water or oil based - I'll go into more detail next time on the types, but let's talk about how much to apply, and where to put it.

Foundation should be applied from the center out. Let's dumb that down: Start at your nose, cheeks, and the center of your forehead. Use your foundation brush. Ok, picture time.

This is a foundation brush. Notice that the bristles are two-toned. That is both aesthetic, as well as useful for you to not fuck up your face.

See how you can't see that the bristles are different colors? That's cause you're using too much product.

Notice how you can see through the product to the bristle? That's how you know you're not about to fuck up your face.

That's all you need to have on the brush. You can always go back for more, but it's harder to take product off your face once it's there. Also, by starting at the center of your face, you don't have to worry about that dreaded line that people get around their jaw.

See the line near her ear? Yeah, so do I. Not sexy. 

Finally, you want to set with powder. Preferably, use a color close to your makeup, as it can be used for easy touch-ups during the day. Drier skins should use their powder brush to dust powder on to set their makeup. Oilier skins should use a sponge or puff to press (DO NOT RUB YOUR POWDER, as rubbing will remove any foundation and all that corrective concealer that you just put there!) powder onto the face. Powder will collect any excess oil and will keep your face shine-free.

Yeah, they're from the same night. Get over it. Nicole, you have on too much powder. It's fucking EVERYWHERE. Your nose, under your eyes, your cheeks. Next time, grab a clean brush and blend that shit down! You look ridiculous!

I'll leave you with the following comparison.

Now I love Xtina. Everyone who knows me, knows that to be a fair statement. However, whoever is doing her makeup should be shot. The makeup to the left is very good (and yes, it is a tad heavy, but when one is doing stage makeup (ie, anything that needs to hold up to a shit-ton of lights), it tends to be heavier. But the image to the right? What the fuck, Xtina? You have gone from grown-sexy-girl-next-door to Jersey Whore. I can't even see your skin under that pile of product. 

Ladies, please. Do not walk around looking like a Jersey Whore.

Pucker up!

Lips. Everyone has them. Lipstick is a fun color to play with, and similar to eyeshadow, everyone can wear every color -- it's a matter of finding the correct shade for your skin.

First things first: the tools.

Lip Liner:  Used to (obviously) line the lips. Liner comes in pencil form only, either sharpen or roll up. Lip liner is designed to keep the lipstick/gloss from feathering outward. Lip liner should be kept as close to the shade of lipstick/gloss that you are using, so a good rule of thumb is to have a warm, cool and neutral color of lip liner to get your color wardrobe started. Once you get the hang of it, feel free to have liner to match each shade of lip product you own!

Lip stick: This should be obvious. It's in a tube. Been around for a while. Lipstick will give the most color payoff.

Lip gloss: Gloss tends to be in a tube that applies with a doe foot (looks like a q-tip) or with a brush at the end. Gloss is sheer, and does not provide a lot of color, but does provide a nice shine.


Many makeup brands are starting to come out with all kinds of other kinds of lip products -- stain, glaze, etc. While they are nice, they're just fancy names for the 3 basics.

Ok, now that we know what to use, let's talk about how to use it.

Lip liner should not be obvious. Liner can be used to correct lip shapes that are not even, but is mainly there to keep your lip color from feathering out. Liner should be a natural color, or (even better) as close to the lip color you're wearing.

Quick Tip! Use liner all over to maintain your lip color longer.


To create the illusion of bigger lips, use gloss on top of your lip color, but mostly in the center of your mouth.



Try to use lip colors that work with the other colors you're wearing -- if you wear warm colors in your makeup/clothes, use a warmer lipstick (warm = brown, red, olives, oranges, etc). If you're a cooler person, use a cooler lipstick (cool = blue, purple, pink).

The best rule to keep in mind: when in doubt, ask your best friend. If they look at you like you've lost your mind, probably not the color for you.

SOME PLACES TO TRY BEFORE YOU BUY

Merle Norman

MAC

Clinique

Mary Kay

Bobbi Brown

Many drugstores will allow you to bring back a lip product after you have used it (and changed your mind). Check your store's return policy to be sure.

Talking about eyebrows, bitches

That's right. Those things above your eyes? Yeah. Stop fucking with them.

First, if you don't know what you're doing, leave them alone. Eyebrows are finicky. If you don't understand the basics of brows, then leave it to the professionals.

Rule 1: You need brows. Brows frame the face, and can even aid in giving a faux-lift to the eye when done right.

This guy failed Rule 1.

Rule 2: Brows should not be over seen.

Looking at you ma'am. sir. Looking at you.

Rule 3: It's called tweezing, not plucking. You pluck a chicken. You tweeze brows. (Hence the tool, 'tweezers'). When tweezing, tweeze from underneath the brow. Do not tweeze above the brow, as you lose the shape. Brows have a natural arch to them. Depending on your face, the arch can be high or low. The arch should be just past the iris of your eye.

See those lines? Follow that guide, just like these celebrities:

• Angelina Jolie
• Anne Hathaway
• Kim Kardashian (pseudo-celeb, but look at those damn brows!
• Kate Hudson
• Drew Barrymore
• Cameron Diaz
• Megan Fox
• Scarlett Johanson
• Brooke Sheilds
• Sandra Bullock

There are more, just look around. All over the magazines, you can see what brows should look like. 

Rule 4: If you need to use a pencil, powder, brow tint or any combination of the three to get your brows to perfection, please do the world a favor, and do not color them on as if you used a sharpie.

See? She even looks like she's in pain.

All in all, if you're in doubt, suck it up, and pay the money to get them professionally done, then invest in a good pair of tweezers to maintain the shape.

...Just don't do what this girl did:

Mascara

Ok, so the title is not catchy; get over it. We're talking about mascara.

Mascara is used to define the eye. Eyeliner is an aid to that, but have you seen celebrities "without" makeup? Yeah, they're totally wearing mascara.

Mascara comes in many different colors. Simple rule for that? Stick with what is natural to you: Natural Blondes and should use brown - platinum brown, very dark brown - it doesn't matter; just use a version of brown. It looks more natural. Always use 2 coats. (Now, if you're going dramatic, black is ok, but black tends to look harsher on people with those hair colors, as they tend to have fair skin tones). That way you get the color you want, without looking like a streetwalker. Brunettes should stick with black for the same reasons. Mascara with funky colors are ok for drama, but I tend to shy away from them as you can create that same look without having to spend the money (that tip is coming, hang on!).

When buying your mascara, you should think: What do I want my mascara to do?

Lengthening mascara tends to have a long cone-shaped bristle, and have long wands.

Thickening (aka Voluminous) mascara tend to have bristles that are close together and bulkier in the middle. 

You want both? Mascara that offers both of those benefits tend to have a long, bulky, cone-shaped bristle.

Then there is the regular mascara: that wand is simple, with a spiral bristle. This bristle helps to prevent clumps, but will only define your lashes but won't do anything more than that.

Quick Tip! Mascara has a short shelf life. Throw your mascara away after 4 months. Can't remember to do that? Remember my sharpie? Label your tube.


Quick Tip! Mascara should not clump up when you are putting it on, especially not after 2 coats. If it's clumpy, toss it.


Quick Tip! Mascara should not flake off. Flaky mascara is old mascara. Time to replace it.


Quick Tip! DO NOT SHARE YOUR MASCARA. PINK EYE IS NOT SEXY!

This is not what I put on this morning...

Have you ever put on a blush or a foundation in the morning, and about halfway through the day realized that it had drastically changed color? Foundation is too dark; blush is suddenly tangerine... Blame your skin.

Oily skin has a tendency to change the colors of your makeup throughout the day. It is a common problem, and one that can be solved in a few different ways:

The easiest way to avoid your makeup changing it's pigmentation is to wear a primer. Foundation primer will create a base between your moisturizer and whatever color choices you make next (foundation, powder, blush).

Foundation primer is a simple step, but one that can can save you money in the long run. Foundation primer acts like any other primer -- it seals in what's underneath, and creates a good base upon which to make your foundation. When you use a primer, you will notice that you use less of your foundation, powder, and blush, as it is sitting on the primer, and not soaking into the skin.

Primer is not to be considered a moisturizer, even if it is labeled as having moisturizing benefits. Primer should be a separate step -- moisturize, let it dry, prime, let it dry, then proceed with your color (foundation, powder, blush -- whatever it is that you do).

One of the other choices you can make when your colors are changing on you is to modify what products you are using. If you realize that a light pink is going to turn peach on you, then use it with a warm color palette -- peach, oranges, browns. That way, you can use what you have -- no wasting of product!

I tend to have very oily skin in the summer time, and dry skin in the winter. I have to modify what I wear during each season, as primer doesn't help me in the summer. For me, it is easier to know what I can wear. I have 2 blushes that I know will work, no matter the season -- a soft brown, and a brown-pink. Both are from Merle Norman (Soft Mocha and Dusty Rose Lasting Cheek Color, if you're interested). I switch up my blushes from time to time -- I love MAC mineral blushes in the fall. However, my go-to blushes tend to be those two colors, as I know that no matter the season, they won't change too much on me. They are both light shades, so at the most, the color just intensifies.

So I have all this skin care... Now what?

We've all been there. The lady at the makeup counter talks you into buying all this skin care - products for pores, anti-aging, redness, acne - then once you get home and take it out the bag, all the well-meant instructions are long forgotten, somewhere between that cute dress and trying to remember where the car is parked.

The most simple and general rule that I can provide is this: Apply skin care products on clean skin, from thinnest to thickest, followed by moisturizer.


(Quick Tip! Once you figure out the order, label the bottles. I keep a Sharpie in my bathroom for just that.)




To get a little more detailed, let's talk about the products.

Serums, specifically those that are moisturizing, should go on first. They will deliver an immediate moisture impact. Most of these will not take more product than your thumb nail to cover your entire face and neck. (Yes, neck! Always bring products down to your neck when applying skincare!)

Exfoliators, generally those that are glycolic acids, etc, should be done at night. Products like that tend to slough the dead skin cells off, and this could cause your makeup to roll up -- not attractive. These products should always be dry to the touch on your skin before applying the next layer of skincare.

Anti-Aging would go next. This includes products that target wrinkles, redness and discoloration.

After that, moisturizer and eye cream. Moisturizer and eye cream are interchangable in the sense of when to put them on.

Moisturizer should be carried onto the neck. Anything that is brought onto the neck should be done in a downward motion (just think about not giving yourself a double chin!).

Moisturizer and eye creams should stop at the cheek bone. DO NOT CARRY THESE PRODUCTS UP TO THE LOWER LASH LINE! When carried up there, eye-liner, mascara -- all that sits on top of those products and will tend to ride around during the day. This is what causes sharp lines that were applied in the morning to look like yesterday's smudged lines by lunch. Your skin will allow the moisturizers/eye creams to move upward, without causing your perfectly applied makeup to look like you had a hard night.

Brushes vs Sponges

It's the ultimate makeup debate: brush or sponge. Here's a consolidated list of what each one does, and when you should use them.

Fingers

Fingers are good when you are wanting to blot on a lipstick, to create a stained effect. They are great for applying skin care. Makeup? not so much. When you use your fingers to apply makeup, you are contaminating that container with whatever was on your hands. Example? You put on your favorite anti-aging products, then your moisturizer, followed by primer -- all with your hands. Then you reach for your bottle of foundation and put your hands right in that -- that bottle you just picked up now has the remnants of those products on it. And whatever you had on yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that... You get the picture. Not so hygienic. Fingers are gentle enough for skin care products, as a lot of the ingredients tend to overlap, and won't cause the products to degrade (ie, not work as hard to do what they're supposed to do). When you put on your zit cream with salicylic acid and then put that into your makeup, that acid will break down whatever your hand touched. Coverage, pigment, whatever -- not what the manufacturer intended.

Sponges

I love sponges! Sponges are great for application, blending, corrections -- you name it. The question is what sponge to use for which application. Here's a break down:

• Wedge sponge: I love to use these for foundations, primers, and shadow bases.
• Round sponges: Mostly, because of the shape and size, these are good for foundation, and some buffing/blending around the jaw line.
• Shadow sponges: Wonderful when you're trying to get the most out of your pigment. Shadow sponges really help to place the color right where you want it.

Brushes

Brushes are amazing when you're looking for application to be precise. Brushes extend the hand, and allow you to see where you are placing product.

• Foundation Brushes can be used for so much more than foundation -- Masks, skincare, even shadows!
• Powder, blush and blunt brushes I use interchangeably. They are very similar to each other, and there is not really a need to dirty up several brushes when you can use just one, and get the same effect.
• Large shadow brushes are great for washes and lid colors. Depending on the look, they can be used for a crease/corner color
• Shadow brushes are a great tool: shadow washes, lid colors, creases -- even when you need to blend powder over corrective makeup!
• Concealer brushes are wonderful for the obvious, concealer, but also when you are looking for a high pigment of color -- because they are synthetic 99% of the time, pigment stays on the bristle and is placed onto your lid/brow/wherever with color payoff fairly close to what is in the container.

To be sure that your sponges and brushes are hygienic and to maintain longevity, be sure to clean them! Antibacterial soap or a good gentle shampoo (think anything that you would use on a baby) will clean out the product and keep them fresh. Always dry any cleaned brush laying flat, so as to not dissolve the glue holding the bristles in. As long as there is no sharing, or infections, brushes can be washed once a week. Sponges should be washed after one use.

Tip! Just place your dirty brushes/sponges in the sink as you are done with them. When you go to wash your hands, they're right there to be washed!